Our love affair started and ended with COVID-19. But COVID-19 is here to stay for the foreseeable future — and so is our relationship.

February 2020.

It’s our second date. I am recovering from a cold and my nose is still blocked. I excuse myself every few minutes to blow my nose.

Coronavirus will soon become COVID-19.

But for now, it is socially acceptable to leave the house with mild cold symptoms. And when my friends see me, and they jokingly ask if I have coronavirus, they are actually kidding.

It’s our third date. We bring a picnic to the creek. We will soon share our first kiss, but first, I slip in the water. My clothes get soaking wet and I hurt my coccyx so badly that every movement is painful. 

Presently, though, I have my pre-lockdown figure and I feel comfortable removing one layer to let it dry in the sun while we are still practically strangers.

We’re at my house and a lockdown is looming. We don’t know when we’ll see each other again, and we make some decisions in the hope that our developing relationship will emerge on the other side.

When I ask him to stop seeing other women, he agrees. I’m happy, for the time being. 
I would never imagine that at the end of the lockdown he will say he thought the agreement was only made for social distancing’s sake.

I’m supposed to meet him tomorrow. We’ve been seeing each other for a little while, but not as often as we’d like. And even as I feel very close to him, I don’t feel comfortable calling him my boyfriend. After we’ll break up, I will explain to myself that he’s the avoidant type; that exclusiveness makes him feel confined.

Today, however, I read on the news that in Australia, we are allowed to visit our significant other even through the lockdown, and I wonder if I should let him know. I’m not sure he will appreciate it if I labeled him a boyfriend. despite the fact that it will make our meeting tomorrow legitimate.

Passover. I‘m not very good at keeping Jewish traditions. I think it’s pointless to celebrate any holidays without family or friends around.

He suggests he’ll join my daughter and me. He’s not Jewish so it will be an interesting experience for him. Plus, it’s a good excuse for him to meet my 6-year-old for the first time. 

I’m excited about having an extra night with him. I’m overjoyed when I see that he finds a way to her heart as easily and as effortlessly as he found his way into mine. After we break up, she will still want to invite him over. And so will I. But right now I don’t know how difficult it is to not want to be with someone that I really want to be with.

July 2020.

Our short-lived romance ended when we realized we want different things from a relationship, but we both like each other too much to completely give up seeing each other.

We’ll probably stay close friends for the rest of our lives.

For now, though, I can’t see him as a friend just yet.

Every time before we meet, I wonder if we’ll end up in each other’s arms. So far, we have. 

We’re playing with the idea that maybe one day we’ll find a workaround. A middle ground that would keep us together. And happy.

But I am not sure it can be found.

So I’m trying to get myself interested in new potential guys. Problem is, no one seems to be worth it.

It’s the end of our COVID affair, But COVID-19 is here to stay for the foreseeable future — and so is our relationship.