I think that confident lovers don’t need my advice. They simply tell their partner what they want in sex. Easy. It’s pretty much what I do these days.
I almost forgot how I used to feel so embarrassed. Actually, I didn’t tell my partner what I want and I what I need in bed. And on the rare occasions when I did raise the topic of sex, I was so uncomfortable that I didn’t say exactly what I want. Just kind-of… Almost… Sort-of.
If you know all you want to know about slow sex, you can skip most of the article and go all the way to the end. This is where I give you tips on how to try slow-sex with your partner even if you’re too uncomfortable to ask.
When we are used to eating junk food, then real, wholesome, healthy food sounds like a bore. The taste of junk food is designed to appeal to our primal need for sugar and fats. We have a tendency to want more of it even if we’re satiated. And we crave it more and more.
But the problem is, junk food does not nurture our body in an optimal way.
In contrast, when we eat a balanced, healthy diet – we are used to the tastes and they are delicious. So much so, that the junk has no appeal and we are not interested in it. And, even if every now and then we do eat some junk food, it can get a bit overwhelming and we are left wondering what was it that made us interested in it to start with.
Sex is very similar.
When we’re used to fast-paced quickies and porn-influenced moves, we are hooked with the notion that sex should be earth-shaking, exhilarating, and thrilling. We simply can’t believe that it would be satisfying any other way.
However, when we are continuously practicing slow-paced, integrated, holistic sex, we can feel how nourishing it is for every aspect of our lives. The satisfaction from slow, mindful sex is deep and whole, in a way that can not be explained to anyone who has never experienced it.
I write a lot about slow sex. You can read about it here and here.
And I realize that some of you are interested in tricks and tips of transitioning into a more slow-influenced-sex style.
Like with transitioning from junk food to wholesome foods, the transition could be tricky.
Some people are completely hooked after their very first experience of slow sex, while others need to take it slowly and gradually.
And it becomes even more complicated when there’s a partner involved – especially if you are not used to openly discuss your sex-related matters.
Transitioning with a partner.
Slow down the slowing down process.
If you’re not immediately hooked, it does not necessarily mean that slow sex is not for you. Simply slow down the entire process. There is no rush to become a slow-sex champion.
But if your mind sometimes shifts from “getting a powerful orgasm” into “enjoying exploring my partner’s body together” then you are already a winner.