In this blog post, I will share my thoughts about feeling sexy.
When I use the term “feeling sexy”, the images that immediately come to my mind are of this luscious woman, high heels, slim figure, voluptuous, semi-revealing cleavage, hot-red lips (probably smooching for a kiss), long vibrant hair, orgasmic gaze in her eyes…
Do you know what I mean?
I was never that woman.
My body is very far removed from anything you would come across on magazines covers.
Add to that, the fact that I never liked wearing dresses, or putting makeup, or nail polish. There was even a time in my life that I experimented with deliberately not paying any attention to the way I look. (I’m happy that experimentation phase is over!)
And I realized a few things throughout the years.
Feeling sexy, for me personally, is a combination of:
On a physical level –
Accepting the features in my body that I can’t – or unwilling to take the effort – to change. It’s okay that my body is not perfect. And I’ll let you know that secretly, when I look at myself naked in the mirror, most days I DO like what I see.
On the other hand, when I go out, I still make some effort to look “socially acceptedly” good.
These days it means, that:
- I wear a bra (my breast is small enough to feel totally comfortable without one, and I only wear a bra for aesthetic reasons)
- I wear clothes that are super comfortable on one hand, and on the other hand, make me look nice – so I feel confident to interact with people.
- I also came to term with the fact that I don’t like to expose my bodily hair. That means I’m removing hair from my legs, underarms, and bikini line, so I can wear
my swimwear without feeling embarrassed.
And even though I don’t wear high heels; I like my hair frizzy and messy; and I only occasionally enjoy putting some nail polish on my toenails – I still feel sexy.
Because these choices of how to dress and what to wear – they reflect my personality. They reflect the way I want to be perceived. They reflect that I care about my own comfort and my own health. They reflect that I am an earthy woman but that I also like to enjoy some of the indulgences of the world.
This brings me to the emotional aspect of feeling sexy.
For me personally, there is NO WAY I could feel sexy if I do not feel SAFE.
Safe to express myself fully.
Safe to be who I am, fully.
Safe to be 100% vulnerable.
Safe to take care of my needs.
And if I was to put on some clothes and shoes and makeup that do NOT reflect who I am (fully!) – then I would NOT feel safe. I would feel uncomfortable. I would feel like I’m pretending to be someone that I am not.
And guess what? I might also attract someone that is interested in the OTHER person, the one which I was pretending to be…
Obviously, everyone has different preferences and different styles.
Do you know what is your sexual style?
Have you ever given thought to what truly makes you feel sexy?