When it comes to sex, practicing mindful sex is rewarding beyond what I could ever explain to you.
I don’t want you to believe me, though, I want you to try it and see for yourself.
But I appreciate that easy said than done.
Mindful sex is slow.
It takes a while.
And it requires – at least to some degree – the cooperation of your partner.
So today I wanted to share with you a little thing that you can do with your partner while having your normal, conventional sex, that won’t take that long.
Something manageable that just requires a few moments.
Let me present you with the concept of –
Taking a break.
Even if we set an intention to practice mindful sex, it’s easy to just get all excited and go at it full steam ahead.
And we forget all about our intention of slow, mindful sex.
So here’s an idea for you: utilize your distractions as a cue for paying attention.
What do I mean by distractions?
Perhaps it’s a sore wrist that you leaned on for too long.
Perhaps a funny noise your body produced that makes you all embarrassed all of a sudden.
Or maybe a nagging thought that comes and doesn’t go away.
Perhaps your partner is doing something that causes pain.
And maybe it’s that you’re just feeling tired from moving so quickly.
Whatever it might be – take this as an opportunity for resting in stillness.
Ask your partner to relax for a few moments.
If this happens during penetration – try and keep the penetration happening in total stillness.
Take a few deeper than normal breaths together.
Pay attention to your genitals and note how they feel.
How you feel.
Look at your partner with a loving gaze.
Only then – proceed.
Start slow and then carry on with what you were doing before.
Practicing sex mindfully does not always mean you have to dedicate two hours to lovemaking (although I highly recommend doing this once a week).
If you just take a few moments during sex to connect to the more subtle sensations in your body, to your breath, to the connection you feel toward your partner – that already makes a big difference between your conventional, going with the motions type of sex, and that connecting, wholehearted, loving type of sex.
So if you’re too busy for long, slow, mindful-sex practices, incorporate just a few moments of mindfulness into your normal sex routine and see how it makes you feel.
I reckon you won’t regret it.