A little while ago, I wrote an article about the power of using the right words to describe sex and love.
When it comes to love songs, things get ridiculous.
You know how many stupid (pardon my French) songs I hear on the radio that make me cringe?
Some of them are songs I grew up on, some of them have a very catchy tune that doesn’t leave my head for days on end…
Yet, when I listen to myself singing, I’m thinking “is this really what I want to be saying out loud?”.
Mostly, the answer is, fuck no.
(The only time you’ll find me using the word “fuck” is when I’m swearing. Doesn’t happen often but when I say it, I mean it!)
How many love songs do you know that give you the message that:
- Love = Romance/Crush/Being crazy;
- Love breaks your heart;
- Someone else is responsible for your happiness;
- (Add another belittling message as you see fit.)
As someone that sees her mission in life to create a society that relates to sex in a healthy, beautiful, relationship-focused way, I am horrified when I hear songs that have the opposite message in regards to sex and sexuality.
Not many things make me want to pull my hair out more than listening to my 5-year-old daughter singing lines like:
“…You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere…”
“… I want to see your peacock, cock, cock…”
(These are real songs, peeps. Which my 5-year-old girl loves singing over and over and over again.)
Sure, it might be really funny to hear a young innocent girl singing these lines without understanding why every adult that hears her laughs out loud… But I don’t find it funny.
I think it’s just another symptom of an ill society.
And though I can’t (or won’t) ban my girl from singing these songs, I am fighting back.
First, when she asks me if I like these songs, I always say no.
We are entitled to have a different taste in music. It’s OK.
Second, when she’s with me, I listen to inspiring, uplifting, empowering songs.
Or simply fun songs sans the irony/double meaning/stupidity.
Luckily, there are tons of these around – though you might need to look for them intentionally. And listen carefully to the lyrics before you decide to let them hook into your brain.
And although there are plenty of love songs that are empowering, I decided to share with you my current favorite song. It’s not a love song – it is about changing the world. Another topic that is close to my heart…
The song is What If by India Arie.
If you don’t know India Arie, please look her up. Her love songs are of the empowering kind.
But there are a gazillion-trillion more amazing songs out there.
Feel like sharing yours with me?