First, what is intention anyways? And what is the difference between a goal and an intention?
As opposed to a goal, intention is not about investing yourself in a specific result and going gung-ho to make it happen.
Intention is finding a deep truth within you and doing your best to align your actions with it.
Setting an intention is more akin to praying than goal setting. By setting an intention before engaging in any activity, you are acknowledging that you are a part of something much bigger than yourself. You put your focus into your intention, and at the same time, you let a greater power move in and do its thing.
When it comes to sex, many of us have a goal in mind, although, mostly, we don’t even recognize it.
In sex, our goal is usually having some sort of an orgasm.
And as such, we take a lot of effort to make sure we achieve it.
If it doesn’t happen – we feel unsatisfied and disappointed. Sometimes we even doubt our ability as lovers.
If, on the other hand, we bring our attention to an intention – the entire sexual encounter changes dramatically.
As long as we make sure our intention is not turning into a goal, there is no disappointment if the intention hasn’t been met.
There’s only wonder and full acceptance of the web of life, weaving itself at the most appropriate configuration – even if that is different from our original intention.
We can set our intention before having sex, individually or as a couple.
I will explain how to do this shortly.
But before I get into the techniques, I want to explain one more thing about intentions.
Intentions come from our innate wisdom.
As opposed to goals, which we need to consider and carefully phrase when we want to set them effectively, intentions are an intuitive process.
Intentions come from that part of our brain which is prior to thoughts.
They come from a place deep within ourselves. Some might call this our higher self, others might call it our creative subliminal brain.
No matter how you want to define or explain this process, it is connected to that spark that lights our being.
And even if we are not always paying attention to it and to what it tells us, it is always there.
As such, sometimes that intention might seem weird, irrelevant, or downright ridiculous.
But mostly, when we learn to trust what our inner voice tells us, intentions tend to be beautiful and uplifting.
And with a little bit of practice, you can learn how to connect to your inner wisdom.
The one that connects to your deepest truth and knows the intention that serves the highest good.
You can learn to dye all your experiences with the colors of pure light, the colors of divine love.
Yes, even when it comes to sex.
Actually – especially when it comes to sex.
Just allow your intention to emerge freely without letting your thinking brain interfere with the process.
Don’t doubt what comes up for you – your higher self knows better.
Even if your thinking brain wants to dismiss it.
For example, our intention might be to create a deep connection to our own body;
Or our intention might be to create a strong bond between ourselves and our partner;
Or an intention might be to allow ourselves to be fully present in any given moment.
And, yes, sometimes our intention can be to experience strong sexual energies and release them (in other words, to have an orgasm. Or orgasms).
How to set your intention before any activity you engage in – including sex:
(This works no matter if you’re having sex by yourself or with a partner.)
The first thing you need to do is to pause.
The first thing you do is to stop the doing.
The second thing you need to do is to connect to your body.
Take a few moments to fully relax, scan your body, feel its feelings, notice its sensations.
Then, place one hand over your heart, and ask:
“What is my higher-self’s intention for what I am about to do?”
The first answer that comes up is your inner self talking to you, and this is what you should be focusing on.
The answer can come in the form of a word, a sentence, a visual cue, or simply a knowing.
And this is your intention – even if it makes no sense whatsoever at that moment.
Practicing this with your partner before having sex is transformational.
I know, I know, I know.
It might sound too airy-fairy or new-agey, but who cares?
It is one of the most connecting, full-on experiences you can have with your partner,
As long as you are non-judgmental and accepting whatever comes up for both yourself and for your partner.
I highly encourage you to give it a go.