The Slow-Style Solo-Sex Challenge

I’ve been writing about sex for a few years.
I think sex should be something everyone feels comfortable talking about.
But… (Confession drum rolls please):
I don’t really have all that much experience with sex.

I didn’t have that many sex partners.
And of the three serious relationships I was in, 2 could have easily been considered “sexless”.

My expertise comes from stepping into the slow sex realm and realizing how it shifted my sex life,
For the better, of course.
And wanting the entire world to see the benefits of practicing slow sex – 
Even if it’s only every now and then.

Slow sex has turned my sex-world upside down,
And sex became oh so wonderful.


In the last few years, I expanded and developed my understanding of sex.
It’s not only slow sex that makes a huge difference.
It’s also the ability to be open and to communicate with your partner without any shame, guilt, or embarrassment.

And I’ve been learning from quite a few amazing teachers, mostly women.

One of the things that always struck me was, how gorgeous these women are.
My teachers are all shining, beautiful, full of energy and love.
Almost like they are constantly turned on.

And I thought to myself, well, I’m not like them.
I am not always turned on.
But even normal women – like me – that look normal and have a normal boring life,
Can enjoy sex.
And that’s my whole point.
You don’t need to be a diva or a goddess or a model to have a completely satisfying sex life.
Am I right or am I right?


A couple of weeks ago, I had an AHA moment.

I decided to let myself enjoy a full-on slow sex session, solo.
Or, in other words, I pleasured myself – but with intention.
Which means that I got aroused only by touch:
No fantasy, no images, simply my hands exploring my own body.

And it was super-amazing.

I had so much energy afterword, I was literally high. OK, not literally high, but you know what I mean.

All of a sudden it occurred to me, what if it’s the other way around?

What if, those teachers that I admire are so full of life because they always have that sexual energy radiating from them? Because they are frequently engaged with sex in a way that is optimal for them,
And that keeps the sexual energies ongoingly high?

And I, that don’t have sex all that often at all, am depriving myself of these energies?

What will happen if I have sex – slow sex – much more often than what I’m used to?


Thus, a challenge was born.

I have challenged myself to have slow-solo-sex sessions every other day.

I kid you not.

I am prioritizing it over other stuff on my to-do list.

A bit crazy, I know, but I have a feeling it’s working.

It’s only early days, but I swear I feel more vitality and life force flowing through me.


I invite you to the challenge.

Have you ever tried slow style solo-sex?

If not, now is the time.

If you have, how about committing to doing it regularly?

Just for a few weeks, to see how it feels like?

If you’re game, I dare you to let me know how it went.
You’ll practice two things at once:
Slow-sex AND overcoming shame (by writing to me about it).