Depends who you ask.
I used to think that guys being concerned about their penis size is just a myth.
Boy, was I wrong.
Men who write to me either implicitly tell me they fear their penis is too small, or they just casually raise the topic of penis sizes in general. According to this study, it is something that about 2/3 of men are dissatisfied with.
It really made me think — and I am hoping this article will make you think as well — should men really be concerned about their penis size?
A phallic symbol
Our obsession with penises started ions ago.
With the oldest relic dated some 28 thousand years ago, we can safely assume that the Phallus has fascinated our ancestors since time immemorial.
A symbol of male fertility and masculinity, it has a significant role in different cultures all around the world.
But symbols aside, what are the implications of having a small or a large penis?
One study has found a correlation between small penis sizes and infertility. But this study has quite a few flaws in it. Apart from it not being peer-viewed, my main concern is that it measured the penis sizes of those men who went to a men’s health clinic with an issue to start with.
I mean, really, if someone is serious about finding a correlation between penis size and fertility, wouldn’t it make more sense to look at a random group of men, measure their size, then measure their sperm’s vitality? I have yet to find such a study, but if you have some insider info please direct me to it.
So as much as giant phalluses have been a symbol of fertility since forever and a day, it looks like science is not buying it just yet.
Both men and women like to compare their bodies with those of others. Men compare themselves to other men, women compare themselves to other women.
Again, this is very natural, and although beauty standards shift dramatically between cultures and time, we still believe that those who have a more socially acceptable body are the top dog.
We have certain standards for pretty much every body part.
And penises are just another such body part.
Thing is, this specific body part doesn’t get to be exposed all that often, which makes it a little trickier to compare. Unless you watch porn, in which case, you get to compare yourself with the super-well-endowed men on the planet.
Point is, I guess comparing our body to some external arbitrary gauge is just something that we do. No harm done. But, as your penis is most usually tucked away and hidden, it makes no sense fussing about its size as an indicator of social status.
Unless you are afraid that your sexual partner might not like your size.
This is less about social status and more about feeling insecure about how you are being perceived by your lover.
Exposing our body in front of a new lover can be somewhat stressful. Who am I kidding, it can be very stressful. At times even extremely so.
Like most other body parts, penises, too, come in a variety of shapes and sizes.
First, let me share my own private (though very limited) experience of the matter.
The guy with the biggest penis that I ever slept with, was the worst lover I ever had. We had sex 3 times, and even though I was completely ready and fully interested, penetrative sex was utterly unenjoyable.
On the other hand, the guy with the smallest penis I ever slept with, has been an amazing lover. Sex with him was beautiful, rewarding and memorable in an inspiring kind of way. I can’t say he was the best lover I ever been with, but that had nothing to do with his penis size and mostly to do with him only occasionally wanting to have sex with me.
Anecdotes aside, what I am clearly saying is that sexual performance of a partner is not going to be measured by the size of a penis, rather, by how attuned they are to their lover’s needs.
Some research (like this study) suggests that: “women’s preference for a longer penis is associated with greater vaginal orgasm consistency”. There are so many problems with these kinds of studies, though.
This is some sort of male fixation — which many women are happily buying into — that sexual satisfaction is measured by orgasm only. And in this specific study, it is even implied that a vaginal orgasm is somehow superior to a clitoral one.
Most women determine the quality of their sexual encounter based on how well their lover responded to their needs. See, orgasms can be present even if the sexual encounter was lousy overall. So using orgasms as a measure of female’s satisfaction with sex is just not good enough.
But even if you do think orgasms are a good indicator of sexual satisfaction, there’s so many ways for women to get an orgasm that the penis size still won’t matter.
Going back to women’s preference when it comes to penis size: when push comes to shove, women will prefer a skillful lover over any penis size whatsoever.
Quoting Betty Dodson from the clip above:
Size does matter, but it won’t matter any more than we allow it to.
There’s a lot of other things that go into a good sex partner besides the size of his penis.
So, what’s the conclusion? Does penis size matter?
If you ask someone that believes that the quality of sex is measured by the presence of a vaginal orgasm — then yes, it does.
But if you ask someone with a broader view on sex and what makes it truly wholeheartedly enjoyable, the answer is no, definitely not.
Confident lovers don’t worry about their (or their partner’s) penis size.
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